Hungry for Recognition | | Middle Aged Mama blog
The husband and I were watching The IT Crowd this weekend, and one of the scenes was awfully familiar. In this particular episode, the company was celebrating a new computer system and the big boss thanked everyone for their involvement in the project, from the accounts team to the toilet cleaners (yes really!). But he […]

The husband and I were watching The IT Crowd this weekend, and one of the scenes was awfully familiar.

In this particular episode, the company was celebrating a new computer system and the big boss thanked everyone for their involvement in the project, from the accounts team to the toilet cleaners (yes really!).

But he forgot to greet the IT department, of which he had obviously been the project.

It was funny but it also made me wince, because I went ...

This time I felt like the invisible woman

Probably ten years ago (or more!) Now that this has happened.

Our church had just moved into a brand new building and hosted a celebration to thank and recognize everyone involved in making this massive project happen.

specialization on minors in church

The husband received a big mention - after all he had played a huge role in the church board and building committee, had shown up to countless bees who were working and had single-handedly organized and set up the sound and lighting system.

But as he and a few other key people were called up front for a special price, (which he really deserved!), It was as if every other person in the church had been thanked and had their moment. under the projectors.

Except for me.

I felt invisible.

It wasn't like I hadn't done anything!

But even if my role had been nothing more than to free the husband from family duties, to allow him to do so much - surely it was worth a mention?

The point was, I had * been * involved. For example, I was the driving force behind a fundraising cookbook with recipes from many different church members. I didn't have a lot of money or construction related expertise to offer, but I gladly volunteered my time and energy to support the project in any way I could.

It was as if I didn't exist.

I'm sure it wasn't intentional. Our then pastor (a lovely man) would have had no idea and felt terrible to learn how this mistake was affecting me.

I struggled with my feelings of pain and yes, anger. I berated myself for letting him bother me so much. Was I guilty of pride?

You know what? I don't think I was. My original intention and motivation was to help. I didn't try to get praise or thanks. But at the end of the day, when they were handed out, of course I was upset that I had been forgotten.

Why was I so devastated? That may not seem like much in the scheme of things. But soon after, I went to see a physiotherapist for painful shoulder issues. You wouldn't believe the places he targeted for massage and manipulation with the aim of relieving muscles - along my spine, my neck, even under my arm! When I expressed my surprise, he explained it this way:

Think of your pain as a blister. What we're trying to do is find the switch or trigger that sends the message to make the pain turn on.

What a powerful analogy! I realized that my injury in the church building situation had actually been triggered by something much deeper, and I had to look for the light switch.

I saw myself young, helping and supporting my mother (single). I've mentioned before that she was troubled by serious mental health issues, to the point that I often felt like * I was * the parent - to her and my younger siblings. I never received any recognition, appreciation, thanks or support. The joys and freedoms of being a child / teenager were stolen from me, even before I reached high school.

Wired for recognition

As the environment I grew up in definitely exacerbated my need for approval and praise, I realized that I was actually born that way. It's an integral part of my makeup, of my personality, just one of the many things that make me, me.

Have you ever taken an online quiz? Quite a long time ago, I did one and found that my number 1 self-motivation is recognition (surprise, surprise). Ha! I already knew!



It was one of the best nights of my life when I won my first business award in 2016 (I nominated myself because it was a goal of my business plan).

Redland Woman in Business 2016 winner

Earlier this year, I was named SEO Consultant of the Year at the Australian Enterprise Awards. I've been a little shy about it and haven't really done much to promote it (or myself). When I told a very wise person about it, they said: Did you force them to give you this award ???? Obviously not! While I may never have heard of these awards before I was nominated, I still had to prepare a submission and go through the selection process. It means something!

And now I'm a Merit Award winner in the Greater Women in Business Awards. Again, someone else kindly nominated me, but I still had to overcome a lot of obstacles to get to this point.

Next Friday (November 20) will take place the award ceremony (Covid-safe), during which the winners and finalists will be announced.

Whether I win or lose, it really doesn't matter. It has been an incredible opportunity to reflect on my business, the goals I have achieved, and how I have embraced innovation and technology.

Does anyone else remember the episode of The Brady Bunch, where Jan was jealous of all of Marcia's awards and trophies? Unsurprisingly, this was one of my favorites!

I have to say this is one of the things I love about business! Although I always took pride in doing my best no matter what I did, the rewards and recognition were rare non-existent in my days as an employee.

The truth is, I don't mind being a bit in the limelight every now and then. I'm motivated by praise, approval, awards and recognition.

And I came to realize - there is nothing wrong with that. Can I have a HELL YEAH? !!

How important is recognition and praise to you ?!

Sometimes it can feel like maintaining a healthy lifestyle is an overwhelming challenge that doesn’t fit within the realities of daily life. It’s tough to hold down a full-time job, eat well, train for a marathon, make homemade green juice, spend quality time with your family/partner, and meditate for an hour each day.

Coffee’s great too, but it’s best to start your day by re-hydrating with a full glass of water. Hydrating first thing in the morning helps to aid assimilation, enhance skin health and boost energy.

Taking the stairs instead of the elevator is a simple way to get a little more physical activity in your daily life. It also strengthens and tones your legs and core while you’re at it !

A simple hack for healthy eating ( and portion control ) is to make half your plate veggies at each meal. The veggies pack in essential vitamins, minerals and other phytonutrients important for health and longevity. And, because they’re rich in fiber, they help to aid absorption ( aka keep you regular ! ) and keep you feeling full longer.

Using a fitness tracker ( like the Fitbit, Apple Watch or similar ) to track your steps is an easy way to make sure you’re getting enough physical activity each day. We aim for 10, 000 steps daily, which has significant physical and mental health benefits. The Fitbit will also remind you to get 250 steps each hour ( another important measure of health

Conventional household cleaning products are full of harmful chemical ingredients that are not good for our health ( or the health of our kids or pets ! ). Switching to healthier alternatives is a simple way to reduce your exposure to environmental toxins in your home. See our Healthy Cleaning Guide for a complete list of recommendations, and what to look for when choosing safer household cleaning products.

Similar to cleaning products, conventional skincare and personal care products are formulated with toxic ingredients we should not regularly let absorb into our body’s largest organ. Reduce the toxic burden on your body by switching to non-toxic personal care and beauty products ( see our specific recommendations on deodorant, sunscreen, and green beauty products ).

Maintaining a saine gut has significant impacts on digestion, skin health, immunity, mental health and more. Taking a daily probiotic with a glass of water each morning is one of the simplest things you can do to boost your gut health ( which, in turn, boosts overall health in many ways too ). Learn more about the health benefits of probiotics ( and all the ways to get them in your diet ), and shop our favorite probiotic supplement here.

Aim to eat real food that’s made of whole food ingredients you would have in your own kitchen pantry, or that your grandmother would recognize. ( Yup, this rules out most packaged food, sorry ! ) This is a little different than suggesting you eat only “health foods” ( many of which are increasingly processed ! ). “Real food” includes unprocessed foods like an apple, a cucumber, soybeans or a steak, as well as foods loosely processed from one ( or few ) real-food ingredients, like butter, olive oil, yogurt, tofu, etc. In other words, aim for foods that could be reasonably made in your own kitchen and avoid foods that can only be made in a lab.

Reduce the harmful effects of sitting ( like at your desk emploi ) by standing up and moving around for a minute or two every half hour.

Vitamin D is one of the most important nutrients for overall health, and sunlight is one of our best sources of it. Aim to get at least 30 minutes of sunlight each day—preferably in the afternoon, and without sunscreen ( read more about that here ). Not much sunlight in the winter where you live ? It might be worth supplementing with a vitamin D supplement and/or other food sources of this essential nutrient.

Houseplants help to cleanse your indoor air ( sadly, it probably needs it ! ), they’re pretty, and research even shows they improve mood, creativity and problem solving !

Aim to sweat in some way each day—whether that’s via running, biking, dancing, hot yoga, or any other physical activity you enjoy. See our Fitness Guide for more workout ideas, as well as tips and tricks for building regular physical activity into your daily life and a downloadable sport planner you can use to outline your own custom sport plan to stay on track.

Green smoothies as a snack or simple, on-the-go breakfast are an easy way to get your greens in each day. Check out our curated list of healthy ( veggie-packed ! ) smoothie recipes for our favorite starter green smoothie recipe ideas.

“The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude. ” It’s true—mindset is everything ! Cultivate a positive mindset by recognizing negative thought patterns and countering them with positive thoughts or affirmations. Here are more mindset resources for positive thinking.

Most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep each night. But in addition to quantity, quality of sleep matters too ! Follow our tips on getting quality sleep—things like keeping your bedroom cool at night, avoiding blue light after dark, and more.

{Start each day with fulfilling activities that set the tone for how you want to feel—whether that’s inspired, relaxed, productive, or something else.


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