Clean Up, Clean Up – Regarding Baby
Oh, the hell! “How do you deal with cleaning a three-year-old's toys? Or shouldn't I have this expectation? My husband asked my three year old to pick up toys and she said, “No thanks”....

Oh, the hell!

“How do you deal with cleaning a three-year-old's toys? Or shouldn't I have this expectation? My husband asked my three year old to pick up toys and she said, “No thanks”. So he said he would take something away if she didn't. I don't agree with this and my three year old doesn't care! She says, "Go on." At what age do we start clean together and ask / expect participation? And what should be the consequence if they don't / don't?

This is such a common question, so today I'm going to come up with some ideas that were originally shared in the Facebook group, RIE: Raising Babies Magda's Way this can be helpful in thinking about how to approach this dilemma in a respectful manner. Start by realizing that living with young children means living with a bit of a mess (okay, sometimes a lot). Learning, growing, playing and creating is complicated business. Letting go of the hope that your home will be perfect on Pinterest goes a long way. As with most things, encouraging cooperation and participation in the cleanup forces us as parents to do most of the "heavy lifting" in the early years. It takes time, modeling and patience, and we must try to see through the eyes of our children.

It can be very useful to create a yes space " in your house, which is essentially the child's play space, and that way the toys are confined to one place. It can also be helpful to have baskets for easy sorting and cleaning. But apart from these practical aspects, it is important to make a habit and invite, rather than insisting or forcing cooperation, and this can start at a very young age. During parent / child education classes I bring a large basket, and five to ten minutes before the end of class I take out the basket and very slowly start picking up the toys, telling about what I am doing. It is a signal to the children that the class is drawing to a close and that we will be saying goodbye soon. I ask parents to sit still and relax while I pick up toys. By the time the children are young toddlers, when I take out the basket, I usually have several enthusiastic and willing helpers. Usually I just take a few toys and then sit down and let the kids bring me toys. I don't expect them to help or order them, I don't sing a cleaning song, and I don't care if some children choose not to participate.

Likewise, at home, I started a similar routine with my daughter when she was a baby. I would tidy up his play area twice a day, usually noon and early evening. For a long time she just watched, then she liked to "help" by taking toys outside baskets, then one day, when she was about two years old, it happened:

Look how good it is!

I would usually start and let her join in any way she wanted. At the age of two and a half, she enthusiastically participated in the cleanup. She had started building these tall block towers, and I always asked her if she would like to leave them or if she would like to knock them down, put them away and rebuild them later. Engage him in the process and see cleaning as a 'Wants something' of caregiving time, and a cooperative effort was important. A good rule of thumb for younger and older children is not to allow access to more toys than YOU are willing or able to pick it all up on your own. It doesn't have to be a battle. Children do not need to be threatened with consequences, manipulated or bribed to participate in this process.

Janet Lansbury adds, “Children are more likely to help when they don't feel pressured or in place, aren't overly tired, and have been approached with a positive and polite attitude. When we don't give them a ton of rules like this and stay on their side, they really feel loving to us, and want to help. I would only ask in the most open way, "Would you mind putting some of these blocks in this bucket?" If she says no or just doesn't, continue on your own, maybe ask her again with something else. If you ask children questions, they must have the right to say no. What I'm saying is stop trying to find an approach to have her to do that. Ratchet all of this to be perfectly prepared to pick you up. My advice would be to take out less stuff if you don't want to clean up a big mess. You can't force these things. You cannot force someone to love and respect you. It's sort of old-fashioned thinking that leads to punishment and a less intimate and trusting long-term relationship between parent and child. Yes, a child may be perfectly capable of cleaning, but it will always be a voluntary activity on his part. You cannot force this, unless you want to resort to punishment and create more division between yourself. Being able and wanting to do it are two different things. From my perspective you are trying to force her to become more mature than she is and that always backfires on us because we don't get what we want in the end. We could have a "good" child who feels a lot of shame inside and who doesn't feel particularly intimate with his parents. "

Kate Russell, Peaceful Parents, Confident KidsEchoed Janet's advice, saying, "Children are inherently good, kind and helpful." They don't need to learn to be these things. When children are able to practice these qualities, it is because all of their needs are met. They feel safe, supported, trustworthy, accepted, loved, connected. They are not hungry, tired, overwhelmed, over-excited, etc. When you are annoyed or frustrated with your child for not following your orders, you undermine her feelings of security, support, acceptance and love, and as a result it is almost impossible for her to naturally and authentically. want to to help or track your orders. I encourage parents to further explore where these ideas come from that children have to suffer consequences for not complying. Often this is linked to our own upbringing and the values ​​we imposed on ourselves very early on.

Finally, Shiva, mother of a four year old child, says: “Last night, I felt a little frustrated by my child's lack of participation in cleaning before bed, so I took the time to look for advice. After reading the comments above, the first thing I did this morning was declutter and put away some of her toys (along with her contribution). I changed my perspective and tone slightly during our cleansing routine tonight and noticed a huge difference! We also started cleaning up a bit earlier than usual to make sure she wasn't too tired, and I set some limits for her, telling her if she would like to play with her toys that she needed for herself. 'make sure they stay in his room.

So what do you think? Are you ready to change the way you approach cleaning with your kids?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger ...

Take charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions safely.

CREDIT : HEATHER WESTONSet Smart LimitsTake charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions safely. Don’t clip your child’s wings. Your toddler’s mission in life is to gain independence. So when she’s developmentally capable of putting her toys away, clearing her plate from the table, and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child responsibility is good for her self-esteem ( and your sanity ! ).

Don’t try to fix everything. Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child’s minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.

Pick your battles. Kids can’t absorb too many rules without turning off completely. Forget arguing about little stuff like fashion choices and occasional potty language. Focus on the things that really matter -- that means no hitting, rude talk, or lying.

Play with your children. Let them choose the activity, and don’t worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That’s the name of the game.

Read books together every day. Get started when he’s a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents’ voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great bonding experience that will set him up for a lifetime of reading.

Schedule daily special time. Let your child choose an activity where you hang out together for 10 or 15 minutes with no interruptions. There’s no better way for you to show your love.

Encourage daddy time. The greatest untapped resource available for improving the lives of our children is time with Dad -- early and often. Kids with engaged fathers do better in school, problem-solve more successfully, and generally cope better with whatever life throws at them.

Make warm memories. Your children will probably not remember anything that you say to them, but they will recall the family rituals -- like bedtimes and game night -- that you do together.

Be the role model your children deserve. Kids learn by watching their parents. Modeling appropriate, respectful, good behavior works much better than telling them what to do.

Fess up when you blow it. This is the best way to show your child how and when she should apologize.

Take charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions safely.

Live a little greener. Show your kids how easy it is to care for the environment. Waste less, recycle, reuse, and conserve each day. Spend an afternoon picking up trash around the neighborhood.

Always tell the truth. It’s how you want your child to behave, right ? Kiss and hug your spouse in front of the kids. Your marriage is the only example your child has of what an intimate relationship styles, feels, and sounds like. So it’s your job to set a great standard.

Give appropriate praise. Instead of simply saying, ' You’re great, ' try to be specific about what your child did to deserve the positive feedback. You might say, ' Waiting until I was off the phone to ask for cookies was hard, and I really liked your patience. '

Cheer the good stuff. When you notice your child doing something helpful or nice, let him know how you feel. It’s a great way to reinforce good behavior so he’s more likely to keep doing it.

Gossip about your kids. Fact : What we overhear is far more potent than what we are told directly. Make praise more effective by letting your child ' catch ' you whispering a compliment about him to Grandma, Dad, or even his teddy.

Give yourself a break. Hitting the drive-through when you’re too tired to cook doesn’t make you a bad parent.

Trust your mommy gut. No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to his health and well-being. If you think something’s wrong, chances are you’re right. Just say ' No. ' Resist the urge to take on extra obligations at the office or become the Volunteer Queen at your child’s school. You will never, ever regret spending more time with your children.

Don’t accept disrespect from your child. Never allow her to be rude or say hurtful things to you or anyone else. If she does, tell her firmly that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect. Pass along your plan. Mobilize the other caregivers in your child’s life -- your spouse, grandparents, daycare worker, babysitter -- to help reinforce the values and the behavior you want to instill. This includes everything from saying thank you and being kind to not whining.

Ask your children three ' you ' questions every day. The art of conversation is an important social skill, but parents often neglect to teach it. Get a kid going with questions like, ' Did you have fun at school ? ' ; ' What did you do at the party you went to ? ' ; or ' Where do you want to go tomorrow afternoon ? ' Teach kids this bravery trick. Tell them to always notice the color of a person’s eyes. Making eye contact will help a hesitant child appear more confident and will help any kid to be more assertive and less likely to be picked on.

Acknowledge your kid’s strong emotions. When your child’s meltdown is over, ask him, ' How did that feel ? ' and ' What do you think would make it better ? ' Then listen to him. He’ll recover from a tantrum more easily if you let him talk it out.

Show your child how to become a responsible citizen. Find ways to help others all year. Kids gain a sense of self-worth by volunteering in the community. Don’t raise a spoiled kid. Keep this thought in mind : Every child is a treasure, but no child is the center of the universe. Teach him accordingly.

Talk about what it means to be a good person. Start early : When you read bedtime stories, for example, ask your toddler whether characters are being mean or nice and explore why. Explain to your kids why values are important. The simple answer : When you’re kind, generous, honest, and respectful, you make the people around you feel good. More important, you feel good about yourself.

Set up a ' gratitude circle ' every night at dinner. Go around the table and take turns talking about the various people who were generous and kind to each of you that day. It may sound corny, but it makes everyone feel good.

Serve a food again and again. If your child rejects a new dish, don’t give up hope. You may have to offer it another six, eight, or even 10 times before he eats it and decides he likes it. Avoid food fights. A healthy child instinctively knows how much to eat. If he refuses to finish whatever food is on his plate, just let it go. He won’t starve.

Eat at least one meal as a family each day. Sitting down at the table together is a relaxed way for everyone to connect -- a time to share happy news, talk about the day, or tell a silly joke. It also helps your kids develop healthy eating vêtements. Let your kids place an order. Once a week, allow your children to choose what’s for dinner and cook it for them.

Say ' I love you ' whenever you feel it, even if it’s 743 times a day. You simply can not spoil a child with too many mushy words of affection and too many smooches. Not possible. Keep in mind what grandmoms always say. Children are not yours, they are only lent to you for a time. In those fleeting years, do your best to help them grow up to be good people. Savor the instants. Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting emploi on the planet. Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry’s piled up, and the dog needs to be walked. But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it now -- it will be over far too fast.

Teach your baby to sign. Just because a child can’t talk doesn’t mean there isn’t lots that she’d like to say. Simple signs can help you know what she needs and even how she feels well before she has the words to tell you -- a great way to reduce frustration. Keep the tube in the family room. Research has repeatedly shown that children with a TV in their bedroom weigh more, sleep less, and have lower grades and poorer social skills. P. S. Parents with a television in their bedroom have sex less often. Get kids moving. The latest research shows that brain development in young children may be linked to their activity level. Place your baby on her tummy several times during the day, let your toddler walk instead of ride in her stroller, and create opportunities for your older child to get plenty of exercise.

Get your kids vaccinated. Outbreaks of measles and other diseases still occur in our country and throughout the world. Protect that smile. Encouraging your kid to brush twice a day with a dab of fluoride toothpaste will guard against cavities. Be vigilant about safety. Babyproof your home thoroughly, and never leave a child under 5 in the tub alone. Make sure car seats are installed correctly, and insist that your child wear a helmet when riding his bike or scooter. Listen to the doc. If your pediatrician thinks your kid’s fever is caused by a virus, don’t push for antibiotics. The best medicine may be rest, lots of fluids, and a little TLC. Overprescribing antibiotics can cause medical problems for your child and increase the probabilités of creating superbugs that resist treatment.

Keep sunblock next to your kid’s toothpaste. Apply it every day as part of the morning routine. It’ll become as natural as brushing her teeth. Put your baby to bed drowsy but still awake. This helps your child learn to soothe himself to sleep and prevents bedtime problems down the line. Know when to toilet train. Look for these two signs that your child is ready to use the potty : He senses the urge to pee and poop ( this is different from knowing that he’s already gone ), and he asks for a diaper change.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *