The Trouble With Comfort – Sexually Pure Men
By Eddie Capparucci (with special guest Tom Moucka) Today we have a guest post from one of my favorite writers, Tom Moucka, president of Samson Society, an organization dedicated to helping men break free from porn addiction. I have always thought that our goal of achieving 100% comfort in our lives was unsettling and counterproductive. […]

By Eddie Capparucci (with special guest Tom Moucka)

Today we have a guest post from one of my favorite writers, Tom Moucka, president of Samson Society, an organization dedicated to helping men break free from porn addiction.

Comfort 2

I have always thought that our goal of achieving 100% comfort in our lives was unsettling and counterproductive. I wrote about this subject in depth in my book, Remove your label of shame: learn to break with shame and feel the love of God. Our quest for continued comfort leads to various complications:

  • It actually increases our anxiety because the goal of maintaining a state of mind focused on continued peace and comfort is unattainable and only leads to frustration.
  • It distracts our attention from the blessings in our lives, as we instead focus on the few circumstances that are not right for us at the moment.
  • Our escape from emotional pain prevents us from engaging in self-reflection that might lead to healthy solutions such as accepting life will not be a bed of roses.
  • This prevents us from turning to God, the true source of comfort, to nourish us in our times of need.

I'm not saying that comfort is a bad thing, however, when it becomes our primary focus, we lose sight of the things that are really important.

One of the reasons that many people become addicted to pornography is that they use it as a source of comfort to escape the stressed anxiety. Their inability to sit down with emotional distress leads them to seek escape routes. However, the distraction is short lived, and they soon find themselves in front of a screen looking for another snap of pseudo comfort.

Tom provides powerful insight into how our need to run away from emotional distress negatively impacts our mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. Let us read as he gives his insight on the problem of comfort.

“In all of this you rejoice greatly, although now, for a little while, you may have been grieving in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven authenticity of your faith - of greater value than gold, which perishes even though it is refined by fire - can result in praise, glory and glory. honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Although you haven't seen it, you love it; and even if you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you receive the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1: 6-9


It's hard to maintain an eternal perspective, especially if you're comfortable. We go to great lengths to be comfortable, and for good reason - it's no fun being uncomfortable. However, these days, comfort has taken on a life of its own. Making a person uncomfortable is considered a serious offense, even considered a ground for dismissal in some companies and universities. In many places, you can find a "safe room" where you can go cuddle plush dolls or play with puppies when you feel uncomfortable. The benefit is an increased awareness of the things we do to disturb others. There is, however, a downside.

Comfort, whether emotional or physical, is a matter of the self and numbs our awareness with deeper needs. One of my mentors was a black pastor who liked to say, “When my people were in slavery, they knew they were in desperate need of the Savior. Today we think our needs are a bigger flat screen TV or a warmer car. He certainly didn't want the good old days of slavery, but he lamented the inconvenience of comfort. Peter would agree. He says that faith in the midst of our trials draws us near to Jesus in praise, glory, honor, and inexpressible joy. It is the safest of the secure rooms.

PRAYER: Thank you, Jesus, for the inexpressible joy of knowing you as my Savior.


Check out my latest book available on Amazon and other online book stores. Go further: the impact of the inner child on your sex addictionGoing Deeper FINAL blanket

There are many variétés of health including physical health, mental health, spiritual health, cultural health, social health, financial health, environmental health, etc. Plus all these variétés of health can impact each other. For instance, if you are trying to prevent pregnancy and are able to access the birth control you need ( physical health ), this may help to create a more positive mood ( emotional health ), which may also positively effet your sense of sexual confidence and sexual self-esteem ( sexual health ).

Sexual health-related issues are wide-ranging, and encompass sexual orientation and gender identity, sexual expression, relationships, and pleasure. They also include negative consequences or conditions such as : infections with human immunodeficiency virus ( HIV ), sexually transmitted infections ( STIs ) and reproductive tract infections ( RTIs ) and their adverse outcomes ( such as cancer and infertility ) ;unintended pregnancy and abortion;sexual dysfunction;sexual violence; andharmful practices ( such as female genital mutilation, FGM ).

No matter where you are coming from, WE ARE HERE to help bring Sexual Health into a more positive and empowering place. A place where hopefully you can learn the sexual health information you would like, see or speak to a professional in the field whether on the Sex Sense Line or at one of our many clinics throughout BC, and come away knowing that sexual health is a natural part of being human.

Options for Sexual Health champions and celebrates sexual health including an individual’s freedom of sexual expression, the diversity of human sexuality, and a positive sexual self-image for individuals throughout life. Think about what factors influence your sexual health ? What messages have you been given about sexual health from… ( if applicable ) ….. your family ? friends ? society ? culture ? religion ? spirituality ? What are some of your own values and beliefs ?

How we experience our sexual health is also part of how we experience the world. For example, there are many factors that health researchers have identified that can effet our health including sexual health. These are known as the ‘social determinants of health’ and include how health is affected by income, education, employment, childhood development, food, housing, health services, gender, espèce, disability, Indigenous status, social marginalization, and social services. If someone’s gender identity/identities are not recognized this can effet their sexual health and experiences of social marginalization. Another example is if someone is a newcomer to Canada and may not speak the language or have the health care card that will allow them to access the sexual health services they need. As you can see, our sexual health is as individual and complicated as the various dynamics of our lives. Human sexuality rarely falls into neat categories or lends itself to simple labeling, but rather is a rich and complex area of human experience. Sexual health is personal, psychological, relational, cultural, spiritual, physical, and emotional. So what does “sexual health” mean to you ?

This supplemental issue of Public Health Reports ( PHR ) presents a variety of articles addressing the méthode and practical applications of sexual health, an important health remise concept with the potential for improving population health in a broad range of areas related to sexual behavior, including human immunodeficiency virus ( HIV ) /acquired immunodeficiency syndrome ( AIDS ), sexually transmitted diseases ( STDs ), viral hepatitis, teen and unintended pregnancy, and sexual violence. The focus of these articles is especially timely given the population burden of these conditions in the United States and other nations, and the growing recognition that, despite the sensitive nature of the topic, addressing the broad construct of sexual health can enhance the national dialogue in this area and increase the effectiveness of public health programs

The concept of sexual health has evolved since its initial articulation by the World Health Organization ( WHO ) in 1975, 5 but it has generally emphasized well-being across a range of life domains ( e. g., physical, esprit, and emotional ) rather than simply the absence of disease or other adverse outcomes. 6 The definition of sexual health currently in most widespread use is that developed by WHO in 2002 :

Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, esprit, and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence

Sexual health is a state of well-being in relation to sexuality across the life span that involves physical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual dimensions. Sexual health is an intrinsic element of human health and is based on a positive, equitable, and respectful approach to sexuality, relationships, and reproduction, that is free of coercion, fear, discrimination, stigma, shame, and violence. It includes : the ability to understand the benefits, risks, and responsibilities of sexual behavior; the prevention and care of disease and other adverse outcomes; and the possibility of fulfilling sexual relationships. Sexual health is impacted by socioeconomic and cultural contexts—including policies, practices, and services—that support saine outcomes for individuals, families, and their communities.

Similar to the WHO definition, this newer definition is health-focused, emphasizing well-being related to sexuality that is beyond the absence of specific health problems, in multiple dimensions of life, as well as positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and relationships. Moving beyond the WHO definition, the CHAC definition also specifically emphasizes attributes of sexual health at both the individual level ( e. g., individual understanding of benefits, risks and responsibilities, and prevention and care of health outcomes ) and the social level ( e. g., effet by socioeconomic and cultural contexts and healthy outcomes for families and communities as well as individuals ).

In the past decade, there has been increasing attention to the importance of addressing the concept of sexual health, 1–4 with the premise that offre de promotion of sexual health has great potential to complement traditional disease control and prevention exercices for a range of conditions of public health importance—not with the intent of replacing those exercices, but rather of improving their acceptance and, thus, the effet of those prevention exercices on the population. It is from this perspective that this supplemental issue of PHR has been developed, with the purpose of bringing together a range of articles addressing new insights into research, surveillance, program practice, and broader possibilités that can influence our understanding and progress on the broad topic of sexual health. It should be noted that “sexual health” is a concept undergoing evolution, not only in its definition, but also in its practical application. The term generally includes a focus on health and wellness rather than disease, an appreciation for the intrinsic importance of sexual health as part of overall health, and an attempt to address comprehensively a range of outcomes of public health importance; however, some of the articles in this supplement address a relatively narrower focus ( e. g., STD and pregnancy prevention9–11 ), while others include a broader spectrum. 12–17 Such variety is a necessary and important aspect of the uptake of the sexual health concept into the méthode and practice of public health.

Four articles address important research questions in key areas relevant to sexual health. First, Penman-Aguilar and colleagues conducted a detailed literature review to assess the effet of socioeconomic disadvantage on teen childbearing. 9 While the factors evaluated varied by study, the authors discovered a consistent theme across the review, with all studies that considered socioeconomic factors as determinants finding a significant union with teen birth rates, including factors at the family level ( e. g., lower levels of parent education and family income ) and the community level ( e. g., lower per capita income and higher rates of unemployment and racial segregation ). The review found that relatively few studies assessed factors at both the family and community levels, an important priority for future research.

Second, using nationally representative data from the National Longitudinal Study of Youth and the U. S Census Bureau, Biello et al. conducted an in-depth analysis of the impact of various dimensions of residential racial segregation on the risk for early initiation of intercourse—an important risk factor for STD and teen pregnancy—among black and white adolescents. 17 The finding that black youth were more likely than their white peers to have initiated sexual intercourse in adolescence was significantly modified by several measures of segregation ( e. g., concentration and unevenness ) with a particularly notable black-white disparity in highly segregated areas. While preliminary, these findings contribute to our growing understanding of the complex interplay between social determinants and individual sexual health outcomes and should stimulate further research in this area.

Third, to understand the association of relationship characteristics and attitudes about STD and pregnancy outcomes with the use of dual protection strategies ( i. e., both highly effective contraception and condoms ), Crittenden Murray and colleagues conducted formative research among young African American women attending reproductive health clinics. 10 The study found a tension from trying to balance the desire to establish and maintain intimate relationships with the use of protection strategies ( e. g., condom use could be seen as a sign of mistrust ). The authors conclude that a more holistic approach, with a focus on saine adolescent and young adult relationships, is essentiel in prestations to prevent STD and unintended pregnancy, an issue that can be especially important in environments where trust is often violated ( e. g., due to frequent concurrent partnerships ) and childbearing at younger ages is accepted.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *