04 Apr Dating and coronavirus: tips for dating during lockdown
So you started 2020 thinking it might be your year to find love. You finally got your life together, had all of those fun trips planned and you were ready for some summer romance.
Then boom ...
One guy ate a bat and caused a global pandemic that kept humans from touching each other.
You didn't see that one coming, did you?
We currently find ourselves in an unprecedented time when face masks are the new fashion accessory and the weekly grocery run feels like you're going to fight zombies in an episode of The Walking Dead.
I'm sure home isolation has a lot of people yearning for a human connection and yet the human connection is exactly what is causing the spread of Covid-19. Since we have no idea how long this will last, that shouldn't stop you from dating if you're looking to find love.
Here are some tips for dating during coronavirus quarantine:
Familiarize yourself with dating apps
As someone who has always looked down on dating apps, I would generally recommend meet guys organically. But alas, good old Rona royally screwed that one up. These days there is no chance of meeting a potential partner at a music festival or your local bar.
While staying at home might seem downright boring, it also means you have plenty of time to set up your hinge or drone profiles and start sliding.
In the pre-lockout days, you might have made the excuse that you're too busy to text strangers, but now that excuse is gone.
The good thing about locking is that you can use the time to really get to know someone before going on a date or logging in.
Video chat for first dates
Covid-19 unveiled a new trend in video chat - House party. House Party allows you to video chat with multiple people at the same time, but you can also use it for one-on-one chat. The cool thing about the app is that you can play games like trivia while you use it which is a fun way to have a first (or second or third) date. you virtual.
Video chat is really the only way to have a first date right now if you plan to stay in quarantine. FaceTime, WhatsApp video, or dating apps video features will work fine.
Prepare for the call
While you might have been walking around the house in old pajamas with greasy hair on the bed staring at Tiger King, you might not want your date to see it just yet!
Make sure to shower and dress well, but make sure you're comfortable. There is no need to wear a sexy dress that you usually reserve for a nice dinner if you are sitting in the house.
Put on your nicest loungewear and maybe style your hair to feel a little more put together. Light makeup like tinted moisturizer, blush, and mascara is enough when you're in front of the camera.
For lighting, try sitting near a window so that soft, natural light enters. Make sure the light is in front of you and not behind you, otherwise you will look like a silhouette. And no direct sunlight otherwise you will have a hard time seeing.
Be yourself and don't forget to smile!
Respect people's views on quarantine
I was chatting with a friend who said he asked his Hinge matches if they would like to “quarantine and relax” with him. The responses: "Yes, via video chat" or "After quarantine is over".
People I've spoken to have different ideas about quarantine. Technically, we're all supposed to #stayhome and avoid contact with people outside of our household. Some people adhere strictly to this and will not socialize with anyone other than the person (s) they live with. They can't leave the house for days.
Some people are willing to limit their social circle to a few people they know and trust. They will still have their boyfriend or girlfriend at the apartment or will continue to see the person they just met. They can take a regular walk or exercise in the park every day.
If you see someone but aren't living together, you should respect their quarantine views, even if they are different from yours. If they would prefer that you quarantine yourself separately to avoid risking their health, it is important to respect that decision. Likewise, if you have roommates, it is important to respect their wishes if they prefer not to have other people inside the apartment.
On the other hand, recognize that quarantine is just an excuse. A friend of mine told me that he used his 40s as an excuse not to see a girl he wasn't really interested in.
He said he had no problem dating other people in person, he just didn't want to see her. So try to use your intuition to find out if someone really doesn't want to take the risk or if they are just using quarantine as an excuse to disappear.
If you've been seeing a guy for a while and you're still talking on the phone every day during quarantine and he's made it clear that he wants to see you as soon as it's over, that's one thing. If he's barely been in contact and can't text you, that's another story.
IRL meeting dates
Whether you go out in public to buy groceries, exercise, or walk your dog, there are still opportunities to chat and meet people, even if they are 6 feet away from each other. .
On my trips to the park to walk my dog, I noticed that the lockdown actually brought people together, even though we were apart. Strangers stop by to ask me questions about my little Pomeranian or to discuss what's going on in the world.
People have more free time, so you never know, you can meet someone even from a distance.
Use time to take a break
The Covid-19 pandemic has really put everything in life on hold.
This might be the time you need to get over your breakup or feel content to be alone. A time to relax, enjoy some essential R&R and focus on yourself. Read a book, take a bath, watch a good Netflix show, get in shape, start a new business, update your blog… anything you've been delaying but really needed to do.
Since all bars and restaurants are closed, there is no more FOMO. You can be happy to know that no one is doing anything right now. We all do the same at home.
Instead of worrying about dating, maybe now is the time to look inside and get comfortable with yourself, as there will be plenty of time for dating after the end. .
What if you've been in a toxic "am I just a booty call?" type situ, maybe this time aside will be the time it takes to lose all that oxytocin and realize you can move on.
Remember the grass is always greener
If you're single, it's easy to start thinking that couples are better off right now. They are together at home and can have sex as much as they want, with only one option left… .Pornhub.
But being in a relationship has its own problems. If you are quarantined with a partner, you are locked away with the same person day and night. Some people will have arguments, find it difficult to juggle work conference calls with screaming children. Not all relationships are rosy.
Are you single and looking for love ? Are you finding it to meet the right person ? When you’re having trouble finding a love connection, it’s all too easy to become discouraged or buy into the destructive myths out there about dating and relationships.
Life as a solo person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet instants of retraite. However, if you’re ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile relationship, life as a single person can also seem frustrating.
For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. Or maybe your dating history consists only of brief flings and you don’t know how to make a relationship last. You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved provenant from your past. Or maybe you’re not putting yourself in the best environments to meet the right person, or that when you do, you don’t feel confident enough.
Whatever the case may be, you can overcome your obstacles. Even if you’ve been burned repeatedly or have a poor track record when it comes to dating, these tips can help put you on the path to finding a saine, loving relationship that lasts.
The first step to finding love is to reassess some of the misconceptions about dating and relationships that may be preventing you from finding lasting love.
While there are health benefits that come with being in a solid relationship, many people can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. Despite the stigma in some social circles that accompanies being single, it’s important not to enter a relationship just to “fit in. ” Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. And nothing is as unhealthy and dispiriting as being in a bad relationship.
This is an important myth to dispel, especially if you have a history of making inappropriate choices. Instant sexual attraction and lasting love do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. Emotions can change and deepen over time, and friends sometimes become lovers—if you give those relationships a chance to develop.
Women and men feel similar things but sometimes express their feelings differently, often according to society’s conventions. But both men and women experience the same core emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, and joy.
Love is rarely static, but that doesn’t mean love or physical attraction is doomed to fade over time. As we age, both men and women have fewer sexual hormones, but emotion often influences passion more than hormones, and sexual passion can become stronger over time
When we start looking for a long-term partner or enter into a romantic relationship, many of us do so with a predetermined set of ( often unrealistic ) expectations—such as how the person should look and behave, how the relationship should progress, and the roles each partner should fulfill. These expectations may be based on your family history, influence of your peer group, your past experiences, or even ideals portrayed in movies and TV shows. Retaining many of these unrealistic expectations can make any potential partner seem inadequate and any new relationship feel disappointing.
Needs are different than wants in that needs are those qualities that matter to you most, such as values, ambitions, or goals in life. These are probably not the things you can find out about a person by eyeing them on the street, reading their profile on a dating site, or sharing a quick petit cocktail at a bar before last call.
Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person when you do meet someone special.
Remember that first impressions aren’t always reliable, especially when it comes to Internet dating. It always takes time to really get to know a person and you have to experience being with someone in a variety of situations. For example, how well does this person hold up under pressure when things don’t go well or when they’re tired, frustrated, or hungry ?
Be honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. Everyone has flaws, and for a relationship to last, you want someone to love you for the person you are, not the person you’d like to be, or the person they think you should be. Besides, what you consider a flaw may actually be something another person finds quirky and appealing. By shedding all pretense, you’ll encourage the other person to do the same, which can lead to an honest, more fulfilling relationship.
Build a genuine connectionThe dating game can be nerve wracking. It’s only natural to worry about how you’ll come across and whether or not your date will like you. But no matter how shy or socially awkward you feel, you can overcome your nerves and self-consciousness and forge a great connection.
Focus outward, not inward. to combat first-date nerves, focus your attention on what your date is saying and doing and what’s going on around you, rather than on your internal thoughts. Staying fully present in the moment will help take your mind off worries and insecurities.
Be curious. When you’re truly curious about someone else’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it shows—and they’ll like you for it. You’ll come across as far more attractive and interesting than if you spend your time trying to promote yourself to your date. And if you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, there’s little point in pursuing the relationship further.
Be genuine. Showing interest in others can’t be faked. If you’re just pretending to listen or care, your date will pick up on it. No one likes to be manipulated or placated. Rather than helping you connect and make a good figure, your efforts will most likely backfire. If you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, there is little point in pursuing the relationship further.
Pay attention. Make an effort to truly listen to the other person. By paying close attention to what they say, do, and how they interact, you’ll quickly get to know them. Little things go a long way, such as remembering someone’s preferences, the stories they’ve told you, and what’s going on in their life.
Put your smartphone away. You can’t truly pay attention or forge a genuine connection when you’re multitasking. Nonverbal communication—subtle gestures, termes, and other visual cues—tell us a lot about another person, but they’re easy to miss unless you’re tuned in.
Online dating, singles events, and matchmaking services like speed dating are enjoyable for some people, but for others they can feel more like high-pressure emploi interviews. And whatever dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between finding the right career and finding lasting love.