Scarleteen Mix #6: Consenting and Other Sexual Communication
Real consent requires clear, open and honest communication. And if we go ahead and are genuinely sexual together in one way or another, that also means an ongoing, nuanced, fairly situational communication process, not just one or two super quick, super basic exchanges. . Not only is communication an essential process to keep it consensual, […]

Scarleteen mix # 6 - consent and other sexual communication - large microphone photoReal consent requires clear, open and honest communication. And if we go ahead and are genuinely sexual together in one way or another, that also means an ongoing, nuanced, fairly situational communication process, not just one or two super quick, super basic exchanges. .

Not only is communication an essential process to keep it consensual, but it is a big part of sex being in fact a well for everyone involved.

I've noticed over the years that a lot of people have the idea that consent and other types of sexual communication is like going through a drive-thru window to get take out.

As: You drive around and see if the place is open. They are. You decide what you want from the small menu, if you watch it at all, because you usually order the same two things. You shout whatever you want to someone at random. If they have what you shouted, they just give it to you and you give them money. Maybe they ask one or two more questions, like if you want fries with that or how you want your change. You answer these (or not), grab your things, you all say thank you and roll off as the guy behind you in his giant Dodge Ram starts honking, because of course he does.

The point is, if you really want to do this right, and if you go ahead and are, and stay, sexually active with another person, consenting and any other sexual communication should be a lot more like a long lunch in a good restaurant.

So something more like this: You ride and see if they are open. They are, so come in. Someone asks if they can take your coat and if you want a table. You say you want a table, but you keep your coat with you. They ask you if you want this table or that one? You choose that one. They say they will come back. They come to offer you water, and ask you if you want sparkling or? You still say. They pour it. They ask you if you want to hear their specials. You say yes, they tell you. They give you two menus - one for drinks and one for food - telling you to take your time and asking them questions if you have any. There are LOTS to choose from, so you take the time to think about what you're in the mood for, what looks good, what you can do and what not to like, what works.

The return and your order. You ask them if anything on the menu can be tailored in a specific way for you: they say they're sorry, but they're not. You say you get it, and go with something else that looks good. You tell them not only what meal you want, but how you want it - how you like it cooked, what you want to serve first if possible, what you want on the side. You order a drink, doing the same. They say they're going to get things done and you thank them for that.

They bring you your drink. You relax. They come back a little later to ask if your drink is good and to tell you that it is taking a little longer in the kitchen than expected. You say it's not a problem, but thank you. Someone comes and offers you more water. You say yes, please. Your waiter then brings your meal to you, asks if it looks okay, and if you need anything else. You notice that there is something in your soup that you are allergic to and tell them. They apologize and say they will bring you another one and hope you enjoy the rest of your meal while they get it. They come back with the soup, ask how is your meal and you tell them it's great. They say it's actually their favorite food, and you talk a little bit about how much you both love the meal you eat. They ask if you need anything else and if you want to see a dessert menu. You say you're good, and no thanks, you don't want dessert today. They bring you the check, they tell you to take the time you want, and you take your time to finish your meal. You pay it, tip your waiter, thank yourself, and move on.

Do you see the differences? How could you miss them? You'll find them in this mix as well: there's a whole bunch of back and forth and a wide array of not just ways of talking about sex, but different ways we could, whether it's saying to someone we feel when we go out with friends to call us the next day when we are sober, asking someone if they want to touch you or telling a partner slow down or do not touch a part of you.


Another thing I notice is how many people - especially people who have never had sex with others before, or who are really new to all of this - always seem to have this super weird idea that consenting and other sexual communication in words is a drag, is not sexy and somehow ruins the moment.

There are a lot of different things to say about this. For today, however, I think one of the most important things to know is that just talking to less enough to make sure everyone involved is really on board, really wanting what is going on, and wanting it HOW it is, for every part of what you do, is vital, no matter what. It's because what Actually spoils the moment are sexual abuse, assault, and being or feeling unable to stop someone from doing something sexual to you that you don't want, feel really bad or scared or do you feel very bad in some way. Sexual abuse, assault, and being or feeling unable to prevent something sexual being done to you that you don't want, don't like, or just feel bad about is causing you great harm. serious and usually create very difficult and lasting emotional and physical problems. , interpersonal and even economic consequences for the victims.

If you are worried about the impact of your sexual communication choices, I really hope you care the most about preventing serious sexual harm and trauma - and participate in sexual communication and sexual choices that make harm prevention your top priority - not the momentary and irrelevant loss of your own or someone else's buzz.

I think this is the second most important thing to know: It does NOT spoil the moment when everyone involved really wants to be totally there and really be as close to each other as sex can get us. It is NOT a drag and it is NOT unsexy to say and hear what is wanted and liked (and what is not too!), And how everyone really feels involved. Instead, what sexual communication can do in this context is not only to prevent sexual trauma, but to help everyone involved to have sexually more emotionally healthy, fulfilling, and sex lives. satisfactory.

Maybe that's why so many songs in this mix - created and curated by me with a few sweet additions from Sam, Jacob, Siân, Alice M. and Al, which you can listen to on Apple Music or Spotify - sounds so great.

  • I want you to want me (live): cheap trick
  • Will you touch me (Oh yeah): Joan Jett
  • Shiver Shiver: walk on the moon
  • Green Light (feat. André 3000): John Legend
  • Into It: Camila Cabello
  • Slow Down: Alicia Keys
  • Genie in a Bottle: Christina Aguilera
  • Control: Janet Jackson
  • Play Well: Sylvan Esso
  • Your motion says: Arthur Russell
  • Speaking loud and clear: orchestral maneuvers in the dark
  • A kiss is not a contract: the flight of the conchords
  • Don't Touch My Hair (feat. Sampha): Solange
  • I walk the line: Halsey
  • Right here with my friends (feat. Leah Fay): Les Darcys
  • Hang Me On: Robyn
  • Closer: Tegan and Sara
  • I want to be your lover: Prince
  • I would like: Corinne Bailey Rae
  • Baby, it's cold outside: Lydia Liza and Josiah Lemanski
  • You Can't Always Get What You Want: The Rolling Stones

There are many variétés of health including physical health, mental health, spiritual health, cultural health, social health, financial health, environmental health, etc. Plus all these genres of health can effet each other. For instance, if you are trying to prevent pregnancy and are able to access the birth control you need ( physical health ), this may help to create a more positive mood ( emotional health ), which may also positively impact your sense of sexual confidence and sexual self-esteem ( sexual health ).

Sexual health-related issues are wide-ranging, and encompass sexual orientation and gender identity, sexual expression, relationships, and pleasure. They also include negative consequences or conditions such as : infections with human immunodeficiency virus ( HIV ), sexually transmitted infections ( STIs ) and reproductive tract infections ( RTIs ) and their adverse outcomes ( such as cancer and infertility ) ;unintended pregnancy and abortion;sexual dysfunction;sexual violence; andharmful practices ( such as female genital mutilation, FGM ).

No matter where you are coming from, WE ARE HERE to help bring Sexual Health into a more positive and empowering place. A place where hopefully you can learn the sexual health information you would like, see or speak to a professional in the field whether on the Sex Sense Line or at one of our many clinics throughout BC, and come away knowing that sexual health is a natural part of being human.

Options for Sexual Health champions and celebrates sexual health including an individual’s freedom of sexual expression, the diversity of human sexuality, and a positive sexual self-image for individuals throughout life. Think about what factors influence your sexual health ? What messages have you been given about sexual health from… ( if applicable ) ….. your family ? friends ? society ? culture ? religion ? spirituality ? What are some of your own values and beliefs ?

How we experience our sexual health is also part of how we experience the world. For example, there are many factors that health researchers have identified that can effet our health including sexual health. These are known as the ‘social determinants of health’ and include how health is affected by income, education, employment, childhood development, food, housing, health services, gender, espèce, disability, Indigenous status, social marginalization, and social services. If someone’s gender identity/identities are not recognized this can effet their sexual health and experiences of social marginalization. Another example is if someone is a newcomer to Canada and may not speak the language or have the health care card that will allow them to access the sexual health services they need. As you can see, our sexual health is as individual and complicated as the various dynamics of our lives. Human sexuality rarely falls into neat categories or lends itself to simple labeling, but rather is a rich and complex area of human experience. Sexual health is personal, psychological, relational, cultural, spiritual, physical, and emotional. So what does “sexual health” mean to you ?

This supplemental issue of Public Health Reports ( PHR ) presents a variety of articles addressing the science and practical applications of sexual health, an important health offre de promotion concept with the potential for improving population health in a broad range of areas related to sexual behavior, including human immunodeficiency virus ( HIV ) /acquired immunodeficiency syndrome ( AIDS ), sexually transmitted diseases ( STDs ), viral hepatitis, teen and unintended pregnancy, and sexual violence. The focus of these articles is especially timely given the population burden of these conditions in the United States and other nations, and the growing recognition that, despite the sensitive nature of the topic, addressing the broad construct of sexual health can enhance the national dialogue in this area and increase the effectiveness of public health programs

The concept of sexual health has evolved since its principal articulation by the World Health Organization ( WHO ) in 1975, 5 but it has generally emphasized well-being across a range of life domains ( e. g., physical, mental, and emotional ) rather than simply the absence of disease or other adverse outcomes. 6 The definition of sexual health currently in most widespread use is that developed by WHO in 2002 :

Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, esprit, and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence

Sexual health is a state of well-being in relation to sexuality across the life span that involves physical, emotional, esprit, social, and spiritual dimensions. Sexual health is an intrinsic element of human health and is based on a positive, equitable, and respectful approach to sexuality, relationships, and reproduction, that is free of coercion, fear, discrimination, stigma, shame, and violence. It includes : the ability to understand the benefits, risks, and responsibilities of sexual behavior; the prevention and care of disease and other adverse outcomes; and the possibility of fulfilling sexual relationships. Sexual health is impacted by socioeconomic and cultural contexts—including policies, practices, and services—that support healthy outcomes for individuals, families, and their communities.

Similar to the WHO definition, this newer definition is health-focused, emphasizing well-being related to sexuality that is beyond the absence of specific health problems, in multiple dimensions of life, as well as positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and relationships. Moving beyond the WHO definition, the CHAC definition also specifically emphasizes attributes of sexual health at both the individual level ( e. g., individual understanding of benefits, risks and responsibilities, and prevention and care of health outcomes ) and the social level ( e. g., effet by socioeconomic and cultural contexts and healthy outcomes for families and communities as well as individuals ).

In the past decade, there has been increasing attention to the importance of addressing the concept of sexual health, 1–4 with the premise that remise of sexual health has great potential to complement traditional disease control and prevention exercices for a range of conditions of public health importance—not with the intent of replacing those exercices, but rather of improving their acceptance and, thus, the effet of those prevention exercices on the population. It is from this perspective that this supplemental issue of PHR has been developed, with the purpose of bringing together a range of articles addressing new insights into research, surveillance, program practice, and broader possibilités that can influence our understanding and progress on the broad topic of sexual health. It should be noted that “sexual health” is a concept undergoing evolution, not only in its definition, but also in its practical application. The term generally includes a focus on health and wellness rather than disease, an appreciation for the intrinsic importance of sexual health as part of overall health, and an attempt to address comprehensively a range of outcomes of public health importance; however, some of the articles in this supplement address a relatively narrower focus ( e. g., STD and pregnancy prevention9–11 ), while others include a broader spectrum. 12–17 Such variety is a necessary and important aspect of the uptake of the sexual health concept into the méthode and practice of public health.

Four articles address important research questions in key areas relevant to sexual health. First, Penman-Aguilar and colleagues conducted a detailed literature review to assess the impact of socioeconomic disadvantage on teen childbearing. 9 While the factors evaluated varied by study, the authors discovered a consistent theme across the review, with all studies that considered socioeconomic factors as determinants finding a significant union with teen birth rates, including factors at the family level ( e. g., lower levels of responsable d'un enfant education and family income ) and the community level ( e. g., lower per capita income and higher rates of unemployment and racial segregation ). The review found that relatively few studies assessed factors at both the family and community levels, an important priority for future research.

Second, using nationally representative data from the National Longitudinal Study of Youth and the U. S Census Bureau, Biello et al. conducted an in-depth analysis of the impact of various dimensions of residential racial segregation on the risk for early initiation of intercourse—an important risk factor for STD and teen pregnancy—among black and white ados. 17 The finding that black youth were more likely than their white peers to have initiated sexual intercourse in adolescence was significantly modified by several measures of segregation ( e. g., concentration and unevenness ) with a particularly notable black-white disparity in highly segregated areas. While preliminary, these findings contribute to our growing understanding of the complex interplay between social determinants and individual sexual health outcomes and should stimulate further research in this area.

Third, to understand the union of relationship characteristics and attitudes about STD and pregnancy outcomes with the use of dual protection strategies ( i. e., both highly effective contraception and condoms ), Crittenden Murray and colleagues conducted formative research among young African American women attending reproductive health clinics. 10 The study found a tension from trying to balance the desire to establish and maintain intimate relationships with the use of protection strategies ( e. g., condom use could be seen as a sign of mistrust ). The authors conclude that a more holistic approach, with a focus on healthy ado and young adult relationships, is important in prestations to prevent STD and unintended pregnancy, an issue that can be especially important in environments where trust is often violated ( e. g., due to frequent concurrent partnerships ) and childbearing at younger ages is accepted.

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