A question that arises in various situations is how exactly to define maturity? What are the things that separate a mature individual from others?
The days of age and finances telling us whether someone has matured or not are long gone. Today 19-year-olds run million-dollar businesses and 40-year-olds live paycheck to paycheck. It turns out that finances and age do not correlate with a person's maturity. We also have a lot of 22 year old millionaires who go bankrupt at 25.
So what are the factors that we should consider as a new benchmark? Is it about mental health, about family or just about an individual's character? What exactly sets a mature individual apart from the crowd?
Psychologically speaking, it is very difficult to draw a conclusion just by observation. There is almost nothing that can be inferred from the maturity of someone on the outside. A well-behaved individual can go crazy when the ball goes out of their playing area, that is, when things go from order to chaos. Likewise, a seemingly brave man might be the first to run when in danger.
Dan Ariely, along with his colleagues, has conducted impressive experiments to show the effects of extreme emotions on a person's behavior. His detailed studies were published in his book Predictable irrational but the main thing is that a person himself cannot predict how he will act in extreme situations. Now, if a person themselves didn't know this, what are the chances that someone outside could predict it?
If we can't deduce anything from the outside and most of what we know about ourselves is probably wrong (based on Dan Ariely's observations), how do we know our level of maturity?
Carl Jung might have something for this question.
Jung came up with one of the most credible solutions based on his model of the human psyche.
In his own words,
The only way to live a healthy life is to assimilate the Shadow into our personality.
Simply put, assimilating your shadow means that we just need to be aware of our desires and values, not only what's in front of our mind, but the deep ones as well. Because it is our desires and our values embedded in the shadows that drive our emotions and our intuitions.
And this assimilation is what is called maturity.
Now the question arises, how do we know that we are on the right track to reach this maturity?
Here are the five signs people feel when trying to equate their shadows with their personalities.
1. The war between your emotions and your logical decisions begins to disappear.
Most of the decision-making mistakes we make are due to the desynchronization between our emotions and our logic, whether in work, relationship, family, etc. The main reason behind this is that the source of your emotions and your logical decisions is different.
Your logic comes from the conscious part of your mind, which you accept and acknowledge. But your emotions and intuitions come from the depths of your psyche, which you are probably not even aware of.
But when you mature and start to assimilate your shadow to your personality, you will find that these tugs diminish. This is because your emotions and decisions are now coming from the same part of your mind, the new assimilated part.
2. A better understanding of your potential.
Assimilation also leads to a better knowledge of your own potential, as you are now aware of the part that has been kept hidden in your own mind.
A good example of this is a soldier who had been in a war. If you ever meet such a person, you can feel the difference between him and others. You can feel that he knows how to act civilized and smile, but you will also feel that if someone crosses a line, they also know how to deal with it. He's someone who has assimilated his horrible side into his personality. As a result, he's now more aware of his potential to do bad things (for lack of a better term), because that's what he's been doing on the battlefield.
It's not always the assimilation of negative parts, there are also positive things that appear with it. The dragon always comes with gold, and vice versa.
3. Decreased procrastination.
This follows from the first point. If someone has incorporated their shadow, they will become aware of their true desires and values, which may be different from what they previously believed.
Procrastination occurs when we try to avoid a task for instant gratification. But as you mature you will understand why something is important and why it needs to be done and then procrastination will automatically decrease.
4. Stability in the face of external events.
There are a lot of things that happen in our daily life, and we can't control a lot of it. These are the situations that worry us because deep down we doubt whether we are ready to face them or not.
But once you integrate your shadow with your personality, you will develop a better understanding of your potential and your limitations, then it will become much easier to cope with these events. Because one thing people have discovered after learning their shadow is that they are capable of more than they thought they were.
5. Better sorting of priorities.
Unsurprisingly, if you know and accept your potential and your limitations, and understand your desires and values, you will be able to make transparent decisions. Transparent here doesn't mean you have to make it transparent to the outside world, but transparent to yourself.
When most people make a decision, they aren't sure because one party tells them to do one thing, and other parties want to do something else.
But once you have matured, you can make any decision much more clearly because you now have a better understanding of your priorities.
As we see, maturity is not about your economic situation or your age, or how you act in your comfort zone.
A real way to know if you are mature or not, or if you are on the right track is to check if
- Your decisions and your emotions become one
- You now have a better understanding of your potential
- Your procrastination decreases
- You now have better control over unexpected situations
- Your priorities are now clarified
And the way to achieve these results is to equate your shadow with your personality.
Previously published sure way
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About six months before I turned 50, a friend tried to convince me to enter a physique contest. He had just turned 40, and was thrilled to be in the over-40 category because there were fewer guys for him to compete against. He said to me, “Kirk, you can win the over-50 category. There are only a few guys who enter. But, you have no lats or traps—most older dudes don’t. Work on your back and you got it in the bag ! ” I wasn’t too excited to enter a competition with “no competition, ” but I was pretty peeved to hear him say I had no lats or traps. My back was better than that. Although I had no intention to enter the competition, I started doing more single-arm dumbbell rows to work my back. Now, a few years later, it’s one of my favorite dumbbell exercises. Importantly, I’m not trying to break any records when it comes to weight here, like I might have in my younger days. Quality reps at low weight is the bigger focus.
There are variantes of the exercise where you see guys use a bench for support, using a hand or even placing a knee on the bench. These have their merits ( although MH fitness director Ebenezer Samuel, C. S. C. S. would rather you not put a knee up ). However, I mostly do the version with no assistance from the bench with both feet on the ground as points of contact. This version works your traps, rhomboids, rear delts and rotator cuff groupes de muscles, but you also get some core work, something you greatly need as you get older. Remember, though, that the way do the exercise is subjective to your own abilities. If you need some extra support for balance, don’t hesitate to put a hand down.
tera set up for my preferred variation, pick up a light dumbbell, especially to start. Stand with your feet in a parallel stance about shoulder-width apart. Hold the dumbbell in a neutral place at your side, as if you would for a hammer curl. Place your free hand behind you, with the back of your hand on the small of your back ( you can also extend your off arm out to balance ). Next, bend over by pushing your butt back and hinging at your waist, with your knees slightly bent. There should be no rounding of the spine, and you should keep your gaze down at the floor in a neutral neck place. Lastly, as you’re hanging onto the dumbbell with your arm pointing to the floor, squeeze your shoulder blades together so your shoulders lock in place and don’t slump.
From this starting place, use your back to sweat the dumbbell up without twisting your spine. Pull up as high as you can, pause for a moment at the top and squeeze your shoulder blades together even more. Then release by lowering the dumbbell back to the starting place. to control my pace, I usually pull up for 2 seconds, squeeze at the top for 2 seconds, then release back to the starting position in 2 seconds.
By doing the dumbbell row unilaterally ( one arm at a time ), you’ll feel yourself being pulled off balance. You must fight with your abs and obliques to maintain balance and stability, which is why I love this exercise so much. Although you won’t be able to load up with as much weight as you would using the bench for stabilization, the extra core work you’ll get makes this version well worth putting in your arsenal of exercises. Try 4 sets of 8 to 10 reps during upper body workouts to get started.
We all know that it’s common for men to skip the doctor until they become sick, injure themselves or are faced with a serious health problem. And a majority of men will postpone seeking care for a few days to see whether they feel any better. It’s the whole ' if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it ' line of thinking.
But there are steps the men in your life can take today to improve their vitality and help prevent health problems down the road. Of course, there are some things that can’t be changed, such as family history and age, but every day choices can have a big impact on their current and future health.
Eating a diet that’s low in fat ( less than sept percent of calories should come from saturated fats ), cholesterol, and salt, and packed with fresh fruits and vegetables ( two cups of fruit per day; three cups of vegetables per day for men up to age 50 and two and a half cups for men aged 51 and over ), whole grains and fiber can help improve your health, prevent heart disease, diabetes and certain cancers.
Try to get 30 minutes of moderate physical activity on most days of the week. Taking a walk, jogging, swimming and mowing the lawn all count. But don’t be a weekend sports warrior. Start slowly if you aren’t normally active and gradually build up. No time ? Research shows that even short bursts of physical activity—as few as 10 minutes of intense activity several times a day—can help men improve their health. Talk to your doctor about the right exercise program for you.
It’s important to maintain a saine weight. Excess weight, especially around the waist, can be hard on your body. Carrying too much body fat forces your heart to work harder and increases your chances of heart disease and stroke, even if you have no other risk factors ! So, try to curb weight gain as you age.
Tobacco smoke contains more than 4, 000 chemicals and is a known cause of cancer. Smoking also increases the likelihood of high blood pressure, heart disease, lung problems and other health problems. And if you think chewing tobacco is safer, think again. Not only is chewing tobacco a known cause of cancer ( carcinogen ), it also contributes to gum disease and tooth loss and may be linked to fertility problems. And, few could argue that chewing and spitting is attractive to a partner. If you smoke or chew, talk to your health care professional about ways to quit. Consider substance nicotinique replacement therapy products that include self-help programs, if appropriate.
Whether it’s pulling out the weed whacker, going for a bike ride or grilling with the neighbors, safety is key. Here are just a few examples : Take care when moving heavy objects. It’s easy to strain yourself when lifting boxes, furniture and other heavy items. Use your knees and legs and not your back for leverage. And ask for help, if you need it. Wear appropriate protective gear for your eyes and ears when using leaf blowers, lawn mowers and other machines at home or work. Excessive exposure to noise is the most common cause of hearing loss. Wear a helmet when you ride a bike or ski and throw on reflective clothing if you go for a run after dark. When grilling, never leave the grill unattended, especially when small children and pets are around, and keep a fire extinguisher handy. The grill should be at least 10 feet from your house or any building. to protect your skin, avoid prolonged exposure to the sun and apply ( and reapply ) sunscreen with an SPF of 15 or greater that provides protection against UVA and UVB rays.