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Let's face it: sex means different things to different people. We don't all do it the same way. Whether you are gay or straight, young or old, in a new or old relationship, there is no one way to have sex. But, when most of us imagine sex in our heads, there's probably one thing our mental images have in common: sex is strong. Which begs the question, how do you have quiet sex?
In porn and other traditional representations of sex, calm sex is just not a thing. Sex is loud. It's a loud and messy act. Even when you have your pact of "moving" down, it is a given that Something will go wrong. Maybe you knock over a lamp with your foot. Maybe you and your partner are falling out of bed. Maybe your partner is literally screaming. We certainly don't judge.
For what it's worth, some partners are naturally silent during sex. Natalie Finegood Goldberg, CST, LMFT, notes: "Some people are naturally silent during sex and do not express pleasure through load moans and moans, while some people are silent because they have trouble fully relaxing. and release their inhibitions. ”
Age can also play an unexpected role. Jane fleishman, PhD, a certified sex educator, explains, “Some people, especially older adults, are calm during sex because they have been so used to having their children around that they have become used to have to reduce the volume. With the persistent stereotypes that older people are asexual or overly sexual, some older people have chosen to be more low-key.
Even if you generally don't like quiet sex, you could really enjoy it. “Some people don't like to make noise in general. Maybe they're generally gentle, and sex so strong is irrelevant to them, ”says Rosara Torrisi, PhD, founder and director of the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy in New York. “Others like quiet sex because it usually happens when they're in a more public space and there's a thrill of potentially being surprised.”
Whether you lean towards quiet or noise during sex, there is definitely a time and place to make quiet sex a priority, especially during the holiday season. Sleep scenarios tend to be less than ideal (because it wouldn't be the holiday season if your parents weren't packing too much, right?) And now you're trying to put it in. your childhood bed while you parents are just a creaky staircase and a paper thin wall. Or maybe you are trying to take a quickie in the car before anyone realizes you are taking a terribly long to bring these races.
Calm sex doesn't mean you can't find a way to have good passionate sex. Some people even prefer it. We chatted with experts to find a few positions that will allow you to have sex as close to silence as possible, because who said quiet sex has to be boring?
Sexologist Marissa Nelson, LMFT, explains, "Since this position provides deep penetration, with the lower partner's legs wrapped around the other's waist, stifle screams by choking and choking lightly until you climax." , Nelson said.
“The lower partner can do this more intimate movement by wrapping their arms around and under the upper partner's arm, putting your hands on their shoulder, pushing upward with a penis or strap-on,” Nelson explains.
Since the best partner will have nothing to stifle their moans, they can try this practice, according to Dr. Torrisi: “It might take a bit of practice to shut up completely if strong sex comes naturally to you. You can try to breathe loudly with a fully open throat, much like gasping, and trying to refrain from forming throaty moans or throaty exclamations. You can also try keeping your throat open for breathing while breathing only through your nose, as if you smell hot chocolate and exhale through your nose as if you are trying to blow out a candle with your nose.
Place your fingers (or your partner's) on the clitoris and rub it at the same rate as your partner's thrust. You can also put a pillow under your belly for maximum penetration and “G-spot” stimulation, according to Nelson.
You can also use a pillow under your face to help keep you quiet. “I suggest making your wild noises a pillow or blanket to muffle the sounds,” says Dr. Torrisi.
The upper partner should move their pelvis in a rocking motion to stimulate your `` G-spot '' with the lower partner's hand, penis or toy, then in a circular motion for a mixed orgasm possible. “The person downstairs can use their free hand to put on their lover's mouth,” Nelson says.
“This girlish position on top, facing your partner, is great for anal stimulation from behind and masturbation,” Nelson says.
"If you are the donor, take your hands and put them on the receiver's ass while you make them happyNelson says. “Have the receiver grind his pelvis on the tongue for maximum sensation. The donor can also use two or three fingers at a time to penetrate and stimulate the “G-spot” during oral sex. "
It can also be a fetish play opportunity. Dr Torrisi notes that for some, calm sex may offer a chance to get behind vanilla sex, explaining, “Sometimes [quiet sex] could be from a fetish game where someone enjoys playing a role that forces them to be quiet, like a doll or asleep. In a position like this, the receiver can play with the concept of being asleep (while ultimately consenting to the act, of course).
A version of this article was originally published in December 2016.
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We all dream of flawless, glowing skin, but with new products constantly hitting the shelves and the seemingly endless skincare advice out there on the Internet, it’s not always easy to figure out the skincare routine that’s going to work best for you. You know the basics — drink plenty of water, get enough sleep, and wash your face, but what about everything in between ? Luckily, there’s no need to shell out tonalités of cash on any magical procedures or expensive creams to achieve flawless skin.
We spoke with dermatologists and top beauty experts to put together a list of some of the best skincare tips. From choosing the right cleanser for your skin type to the importance of cleaning your makeup brushes, these easy tricks — plus some top-tested product picks from the Good Housekeeping Institute Beauty Lab — will help guide you to glowing skin ASAP.
' For oily or acne-prone skin, a salicylic givre or benzoyl peroxide wash works great, ' says Dr. Ava Shamban, a dermatologist in Santa Monica. ' For dry mature skin, use either a moisturizing glycolic or milky cleanser. For skin with brown ateliers or melasma, use a brightening wash, such as an α hydroxy acid cleanser. '
' The best times to moisturize are right after you get out of the shower and right before you go to bed, ' explained Dr. Janet Prystowsky M. D., an NYC-based dermatologist. Avoid lotions with heavy fragrances and make sure you find a moisturizer gentle enough for every day use with zero irritation.
Dr. Tzu says figuring out how to avoid touching your face is very important. It doesn’t just spread bacteria and cause breakouts — it can lead to scarring, an increase in wrinkles, and even the flu or other viruses.
Every skin professionnel we spoke to emphasized the importance of hydration. ' A lack of water means less radiance and more sag, ' says Dr. Mona Gohara, a dermatologist in Connecticut. She suggests choosing products ( cleansing, moisturizing, and anti-aging ) that have hydrating formulas. And, évidemment, drink around eight glasses of water a day.
Don’t just watch out for the sun — getting too close to heaters and fireplaces can also wreak havoc on your skin. ' It causes inflammation and collagen breakdown. I recommend staying at least ten feet away, ' explains Dr. Debbie Palmer, a New York dermatologist. So next time you’re roasting chestnuts or s’mores over an open fire, take a step back.
' We lose 50 million skin cells a day, and without a little extra nudge, they may hang around leaving the skin looking sullen, ' says Dr. Gohara. tera fight this, you should ' choose a product that is pH neutral so it doesn’t dry as it exfoliates. ' And don’t just stop with your face — the skin on your body needs exfoliation, too.
A balanced diet is important, but there’s more than one way to give your skin vitamins. There are also topical antioxidants, which are serums and creams that contain ingredients that nourish the skin ( think vitamin C serum ! ).
' These can really help to repair the skin from sun damage, ' says Dr. Palmer. Not sure how to use them ? The best time to apply them is right after cleansing so that your skin can soak them in, or they can be layered under your sunscreen for added protection.
Though it’s tempting to grab a coffee the minute you wake up, Joanna Vargas, a skincare facialist in NYC, says choosing the right beverages can be a game changer. ' Drink a shot of chlorophyll every morning to brighten, oxygenate, and hydrate your skin. Drinking chlorophyll also helps drain puffiness by stimulating the lymphatic system, so it’s also good for capitons graisseux. '
If you’re not keen on downing a shot of the stuff, chlorophyll supplements can be found at many drugstores and health food stores. She also advised drinking green juices with lots of veggies in them : ' It will transform your skin in a matter of days — and it helps oxygenate the skin and stimulates lymphatic drainage, so it’s de-puffing, too. '
' Your skin has a natural barrier to retain moisture, and essential to that is omega-3 fatty acid, ' Joanna advises. ' Flax seeds on your salad or even walnuts will be an instant boost to your omega-3, thus increasing your skin’s ability to hold onto moisture. ' And be sure to eat a diet low in foods with a high glycemic index ( simple and complex carbohydrates ).
to fight septicémie and clogged pores, Dr. Prystowsky recommends washing concealer and foundation brushes once a week. For brushes you use around your eyes, she recommends twice per month, and for any other brushes, once a month is fine.
Here’s how : Put a drop of a mild shampoo into the palm of your hand. Wet the bristles with lukewarm water. Then, massage the bristles into your palm to distribute the shampoo into the brush. Avoid getting the metal part of the brush wet/or the base of the brush hairs because the glue could soften and the bristles could fall out. Rinse the shampoo out and squeeze out the water with a towel. Lay the brushes on their side with the bristles hanging off the edge of the counter to dry.
' Many people feel they only need to protect themselves on sunny days or when visiting the beach, ' says Dr. Palmer. ' But the truth is that we need to protect our skin even when we’re driving a car, flying in an airplane, or course errands. It’s the daily uv exposure that contributes to the visible signs of aging. ' What kind of sunscreen is best ? Choose a broad-spectrum sunscreen with a SPF of 30 or greater — and remember that it needs to be reapplied every 2 hours.
We’re talking SPF makeup, sunglasses, and broad-brimmed hats. ' Preventing sun damage is a million times better for your skin than treating it after the fact, ' says Dr. Prystowsky.
' Fad products and fancy ingredients are fun to try, and sometimes they work well, ' says Dr. Prystowsky, ' but usually they’re off the shelves just as quickly as they’re on them. ' Find a cleanser and moisturizer that you know work for you, and keep them at the core of your routine.
It’s not just about getting eight hours a night. Skin will also benefit from regularly using clean silk pillowcases. ' The material glides easily and prevents creasing and wrinkles, ' says Jesleen Ahluwalia, M. D., a dermatologist from Spring Street Dermatology in New York City. ' Silk is also easier on hair — it helps avoid tangles and breakage. ' Better hair and skin while you sleep ? Yes, please.